Little glimpses

I am a firm believer that kids come to teach us. What they teach us varies. How they teach us also varies. If they teach us is up to us. For me I believe the same thing could happen and five people could learn something different. Or the more dreadful thing could happen and the same thing could happen to you five times, and you learn something new every time. Well kids are like scriptures in those senses you get out of them what you need. Well apparently I needed some understanding of just how the Lord views us in our struggles.

Sleep for Isaac has been hard there are so many reasons why. Most lately I feel my ignorance has been the biggest factor. Regardless we are going to do better and get on a routine and a schedule. Today has been day one...... Honestly it has worked great. Woke up at 7am. Eat played and did whatever else. Took a morning nap, it LASTED a hour and a half. Had a bottle played with friends ate, took an afternoon nap Which also lasted a good amount of time. Had a bottle and played. Dinner finger foods and sippy cup have now become a official part of meals. All things have been good even happy! Then off to bed with a side story of Isaac pooping on the carpet. Totally reminded me of my dogs. He moves way to fast and sometimes I do not want to fight. Well Bottle all warmed in his room with music and the rocking chair. He went to bed drowsy but not asleep. A half hour later he is awake screaming, so.... The plan go in after 15min, lay him back down give him the binky and tell him it is ok and leave. Screams..... that is ok and expected. Now I have to wait 20mins. This is where the whole glimpse is.....! He is crying and I really hate it when my own kid cries. Other peoples kids cry and unless it is a big thing I usually do not want to cry with them. I know I have 20mins before I can go back in there so I sit on the couch listening for awhile thinking what I can to to distract myself..... this is where I think well I am sorry Isaac but I know you can do it. I become his cheerleader on the couch thinking about how he will get through this and how he and I can become ok with a better life. Even though he is not being perfect I am still routing for him to succeed. I want the best for him and I have given him what he needs to sleep and be happy. It is hard to sit in the other room and listen to him struggle when the answer is simple. Just go to sleep! But for him right now that choice is hard to make as he searches for what he needs. This became a revelation to me of how the Lord feels when we are in our crib crying when we should be sleeping. Everything will be ok, he will be ok, I will be ok. You know what else he fell asleep before the 20mins were up. I resisted the urge to pick him up and hold him until he fell asleep again. I love my baby and I wish holding him would fix everything I wish we could just cuddle all day long and do everything we were supposed to in this life but we can't. I am happier and He is happier. On to another 11hour night of sleep (hopefully)!